The Death of Computers and The Aftermath

Since the beginning of my relationship with Gllen, there has been one rule that has endured... If I ever destroy his laptop, it will result in an immediate break-up. I don't know how this came about - I think I asked him something like, "What if we got into a terrible fight and I threw your laptop out of the window?" I was joking at the time, but he gave me a look of disgust and told me that he would break up with me and never talk to me again. I asked him, "What if it was something that happens on accident - like I'm holding a glass of water and I trip over something and it spills onto your computer and it dies?" He shuddered at the thought and spent several moments in mental anguish where he made Gllen-noises and wouldn't look at me. Then he said, "I'd still break up with you."

I believe him.

So of course, I treat his computers with the same reverence I reserve for our continued relationship. You might wonder if it is a two-way street... does Gllen respect MY computer with the same level of esteem as his own?

No.

He broke my laptop.

Last November.

Obviously we are still dating.

There is some debate on whose fault it is, so I'll share the story. I usually use my laptop in the living room, as I don't have a whole office set-up like Gllen does. The most comfortable spot for me to compute is on the sofa, with the laptop on the armrest - a rather large, leather arm rest. I'd been doing this for three years. No problems. Until one day...

I was sleeping on the couch, laptop in its usual spot, when Gllen came into the room and decided to give me a hug (or something of the sort, since what he actually did was try to lay on top of me and crush the air out of my lungs). His foot kicked my laptop and it crashed to the floor. At first I thought it might be okay, since it appeared to be on one piece. But quickly we realized that it wouldn't turn on.

I didn't waste any time pointing out that he had committed his OWN UNFORGIVABLE SIN.

Gllen blames me because I left it on the arm rest, and that is an unsafe place to leave a laptop. I allow a small margin of that blame... but the end result is that HE broke it, on accident of course, not me.

I forgave him. And he did fix it eventually, by buying a new hard drive and reinstalling Windows for me. Three months later. But if the situation was reversed, I think I'd be single right now.