The Shirt Says it All

Today, Gllen and I were talking about a party I am going to where there are a lot of Apple users. Gllen jokingly said he would come to the party and wear a shirt that says "Windows is better than Mac"

"Okay!" I said eagerly. I think he was taken aback by my easy agreement, so he revised, "I'll wear a shirt that says, 'Janelle is my girlfiend. Macs Suck.'"

I smiled at him. "Sure!" When he raised his brows at me and laughed, I added, "That will certainly strike up some conversations. People will want to talk to you. I enjoy seeing you converse with others."

He made some wierd noises and revised again. "Janelle is my girlfriend. Macs Suck. I won't talk to you."

With a smirk on my face, I told him, "You know, that shirt would come in handy in pretty much any social situation you are in." Really. It sums him up, and reflects about as much as he would contribute to a conversation verbally anyway...

How To Make Gllen Go Postal

Today, Gllen and I went out for brunch at The Common Roots Cafe in Uptown. We noticed that 75% of the people there were on laptops and Gllen pondered, "I wonder how many people here are playing online poker..."

I glanced about the cafe, and noted, "Well, the majority of people here are using Macs. Can you even play online poker on a Mac? I mean, is the user experience the same?"

Gllen scoffed.

"I'm just asking because I've noticed this week that many websites look way different when you're using a Mac." He looked at me quizzically, and I added "I've been using a Mac all week at work."

Gllen made a sour face. "Why?" he demanded. I told him that my computer died, and the easiest thing for me to do while it was being fixed was to work on one of the spare Macs from our graphics department, because they were the only computers in the office that had CS4 installed.

If Gllen had been in the same situation, he told me that his reaction would have been this: "You better get my damn computer fixed today or I'll kill people."

There's a reason he's self employed.

In Theory...

Last night I was teasing Gllen about his dislike of Apple. (The fact that I own an iPhone is a sore spot for him. On several occasions when my phone has rung, he has made a snarky comment like "Your phone wants to play with you.") So, I was trying to imagine a scenario where he might be forced to become an Apple fan. I asked him, what would he do if Apple and Google merged?

He let out an indignant noise. "That would never happen."

"Just pretend that it did," I cajoled.

He started stuttering out sentences. "That's ridiculous... It's not even... So stupid... It's like suggesting Google would merge with..." He struggled for a moment, trying to come up with an analogy. Finally he stammered, "Fantastic Sam's."

The force of his comment hit me, and after a few seconds I started to giggle. "Fantastic Sams?" I laughed harder. "Why did you think of Fantastic Sam's?" Gllen starts to laugh. "Of all the company's you could think of, you came up with Fantastic Sam's? Gee, if someone said 'hey, name a company' I don't think I'd blurt out Fantastic Sam's."

We both laughed for a while. Gllen finally tells me that it was the most stupid company he could think of. A minute later he said, "Oh yeah. I thought of another one."

I raised my eyebrows and he soberly states, "Apple."