Inanimate? I Think Not

I had to correct my friend Becky the other night when she asked Gllen, "Hey, where's your hat?"

"Oh, no" I say, "You can't refer to it like an object. It called 'Hat', as if its a real person."

It's true. Gllen always refers to it as Hat. For example: "Where is Hat?" or "I'm going to go smoke with Hat."

If this isn't bad enough, I suffered the ultimate dismisal from Gllen the day I noticed he had left said Hat in his car. Thinking I would be nice, I brought it in for him. Please note that I had been gone all day at work. I walk in the door and Gllen barely glances up from his computer to say hello. In an effort to get some attention from him, I say "Look what I found." and I brandish Hat. Gllen's eyes light up and he gets a huge grin on his face. He does a little happiness dance in his chair. Disgusted, I toss Hat to him and turn away (Honestly, shouldn't my arrival home safe and sound make him that happy?) and try to hide my sadness. Though my back is turned, I know that Gllen is hugging Hat and has already forgotten about me.