Ruined For Life

Gllen recently discovered the glory of the Whole Foods meat counter. On a quick trip there one day, he was window shopping the meats and (even though he had recently eaten dinner) was drooling at the display. The next day, it was all he could think about. When I came home from work, he immediately started asking me if we could go back. I finally caved and we set out on our journey.

After about 30 seconds in the store, he was no longer by my side. As I browsed the vegetables and fruits, Gllen ran off to the meat counter. I didn't find him again until 15 minutes later. He had the biggest grin on his face. As we walked out to the car, he started to laugh to himself. Clutching the paper bag in his hand, he loped towards the car with a spring in his step. He stated, "The guy at the meat counter and I just sat and giggled and each other."

I stopped in my tracks. Not only was Gllen offering up information without my prodding, he was telling me that he INTERACTED with someone. "Why?"

The story poured forth: "I told him I wanted a really thick rib-eye. He said, 'Well, I have THESE!' and he pointed to these rib-eye roasts. They are like as big as my head." He grunted his approval at the meat counter dude and as the guy packaged up the meat, I guess they both sat and giggled at the amazingness of the meat and how delicious it would be. It is now a favorite pastime of mine to imagine this exchange.

When we got it home, Gllen unwrapped the steak and I realized he was being modest about the steak. I had to get out a ruler to measure just how thick it was...

Imagine some Gllen evil laughter as he watched me measure his steak's massive four inches. Back to the story... He allowed the steak to rest, but had to keep going back to revel in its beauty, and, yes, he was stroking it:

Of course, I'm hooting with laughter, running around taking pictures. This one is now Gllen's desktop wallpaper:

As he cooked it, Gllen was drooling and slurping like Jaques Pepin. Every so often, he would raise his fists in the air, shaking them to a fro as if shaking a money tree for all it was worth. The final product was a thing of beauty (to Gllen - I didn't really care. I was more interested in watching Gllen court the steak).

He was only able to eat about an eighth of it before he was full. And that potato was just garnish, as far as I am concerned. Don't worry, though. He was able to finish it over the course of a few days. Every last bite.

Now, though, I'm worried. This was Gllen's white whale - the ultimate rib-eye. What could possibly top this?